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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 7:42 am 
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How can you tell when bagpipes are out of tune?
Somebody's playing them!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 7:21 pm 
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Milf Hunter
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I ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon last week and they sent me a Two Ronnie's DVD.......

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:00 pm 
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:rotfl: :rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:37 pm 
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mojomick wrote:
I ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon last week and they sent me a Two Ronnie's DVD.......

:clap: very good

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 8:59 pm 
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lOl

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 9:42 pm 
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Milf Hunter
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An Ex-Submariner goes to his doctor for his regular physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very sexy, young, pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,'99'.
The old Matelot obeys and says,"99".
The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,'99".Again, the old Matelot says, '99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis To keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The old Matelot begins,
"One...
Two…
Three…
Four…
Five...…"

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:52 pm 
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:rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:05 pm 
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Milf Hunter
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Someone posted on Facebook that they had just baked synonym buns. I responded, “You mean just like the ones that grammar used to make?”

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:06 pm 
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:hehe:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:58 pm 
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Milf Hunter
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Diane Abbott was on a tour of Ireland and in an interview she was asked if she had enjoyed County Down.
She replied with enthusiasm "Yes of course, but I think it was so much better with Carol Vorderman in it".....

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:39 pm 
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:rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:57 pm 
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Tyson Fury's made so much money from boxing and has just upgraded his home to the point of showing off. He's installed a third Calor Gas bottle outside.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:00 pm 
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Finmows wrote:
Tyson Fury's made so much money from boxing and has just upgraded his home to the point of showing off. He's installed a third Calor Gas bottle outside.


:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:34 pm 
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Milf Hunter
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They
enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined
that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the
ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up
North?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house
and pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to
admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I
did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:08 pm 
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Nice one Mick :yup:

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