Last visit was: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:22 am It is currently Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:22 am

All times are UTC+01:00




 [ 4963 posts ]  Go to page Previous 1326 327 328 329 330 331 Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:34 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:58 pm
Posts: 926
Current ride: Buell 1125R
gusm2 wrote:
Had a policeman at the door saying my dogs were chasing people in our road on bikes, I told him to fuck off....... My dogs don't have bikes


& again heh heh. Nice one :D

_________________
Ride Safe & Stay between the hedgerows.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 1:15 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Thought I'd have a go at the London Marathon this year!
2hrs 40minutes...then I got bored and changed channels

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 5:54 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:25 pm
Posts: 12053
Location: Oswestry
lOl

_________________
If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 7:47 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:34 pm
Posts: 681
Current ride: m2 cyclone
Location: leicester
Halhal chickens are killed the traditional muslim way. But how the fuck do you strap a back pack on a chicken?


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2019 11:17 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
I visited my local Chinese restaurant last night and asked for the specials. They gave me too much foo young.

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2019 11:27 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:35 pm
Posts: 1757
Current ride: A black one
Location: Wales. The land of dragons, welshcakes and full reservoirs.
lOl

_________________
Dusty 001


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2019 8:49 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
"Certainly," I replied. "My wife's best friend on Monday and Tuesday, my secretary Wednesdays and Thursdays, the cleaner on Friday night and the babysitter over the weekend." "Very nice," said my solicitor....... "But when I asked if your affairs were in order...."

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2019 9:20 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Jeremy Kyle, 4 kids and unemployed... Can anyone recommend a show to help him?

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2019 10:40 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 8:00 pm
Posts: 9524
Current ride: X1 2001 White Riot
Location: southampton
:rotfl: :rotfl:

_________________
Obey the principles without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2019 2:49 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
“Hello, 08454647, NHS Helpline, how may I help you ?”
“My wife has been bitten by a snake”
“Sir, can you describe the snake for me, please”
“Well, err, it was pale green with a sort of zig zag pattern on it’s back”
“Okay sir, that sounds like an adder, Britain’s only dangerous snake, she will need medical treatment, an ambulance will with you shortly, but there is something you can do to help her”
“Yes, anything, just tell me”
“Sir, you will have to suck out the venom”
“What, I can’t do that”
“Sir you have to, she might die if your don’t”
“...but....if I suck out the venom there will be nothing left !”

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2019 5:13 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
If any of you on here are missing Grumpy Cat, I'll do my best to help you get over it. PM me and I'll send you some pictures of my wife.

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2019 6:31 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Sorry it's footie related...

The missus asked me to be more like Liverpool during sex. “What the Fuck” I said, “Well, you stay on top for ages then come 2nd” she replied.

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2019 9:29 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 1:09 am
Posts: 296
Current ride: Xt500 , 1125 CR
Location: Tiddly village near the throbbing metropolis of Rugby
My wife said she is leaving me as she reckons i am too pretentious..... ....................................I was so shocked my monocle nearly dropped out.

_________________
Caution: I run with scissors.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2019 12:32 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
A woman goes into a police station and reports that a man has exposed himself to her. The officer asked what happened, she explained "I was going to the shops when a car pulled over and a man beckoned me over to his window, he asked me for directions to the nearest post office, as I spoke He started grinning then I saw he had his bloody thing in his hand" The officer could see the the woman was in some distress, he said gently "sorry I need to ask you, was he in a state of arousal?" She sobbed " no I think it was a Ford focus.

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:10 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5096
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Fleas can jump up to twenty times their own height. When I tried to put my cock in my wife's arse, I found she could too.

_________________
I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


Top
   
 
 [ 4963 posts ]  Go to page Previous 1326 327 328 329 330 331 Next

All times are UTC+01:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot] and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited