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 Post subject: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2020 6:56 pm 
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Current ride: X1 2001
Location: southampton
Jokes in this thread
please..

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:04 pm 
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Wot? No old jokes? lOl


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:05 pm 
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Location: southampton
:old: we shall see

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:44 pm 
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Current ride: A black one
Location: Wales. The land of dragons, welshcakes and full reservoirs.
A young man says to his Father, "what's the difference between theory and reality Dad?"

I tell you what boy, go and ask your Mother if she would sleep with the plumber for a million pounds. He comes back and says "yes she would". Right, go and ask your Sister if she would sleep with the plumber for a million pounds. He comes back and says "yes she would".

There you have it, says the Father.

In theory we are sitting on two million quid...………………...in reality, we are living with a pair of slappers.

A shameless plagiarism (thank you Jethro)

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2020 7:55 am 
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Same young boy asks his father "dad what's the difference between a pussy and a cünt"?
Father takes son over to sleeping wife, lifts her nighty, points to her genitals and says "That son, is a pussy!... belonging to a cünt"
*Oh lord help me, its not even 8am and I'm drunk again*

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:20 am 
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Current ride: Buell 1125R
Two lepers sitting having breakfast,
One reached over for the salt cellar,
The other dipped his toast in the back of his neck.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2020 12:52 pm 
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Current ride: The wife
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My neighbour with the big tits has been walking about topless in the garden all day.


Just wish his wife would do the same.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 3:18 pm 
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It's my wife's birthday tomorrow, she's been leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house, so I've bought her a magazine rack

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2001 X1
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Wilier La Triestina
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 3:44 pm 
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I found £20 outside Asda yesterday. I felt a bit guilty as I picked it up. I thought, 'what would Jesus do'?
So I turned it in to wine.

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2001 X1
2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2020 11:31 pm 
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Current ride: A black one
Location: Wales. The land of dragons, welshcakes and full reservoirs.
If you had found it outside Lidl you could have fed the 5000.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:07 pm 
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Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

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2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2020 10:44 am 
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I bought my wife a pug as a present. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, I think the dog quite likes her

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2001 X1
2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 8:29 am 
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Location: Cofa's tree
I was on an American film website discussing the new Bond Film and decided for a laugh to say that in the next Bond, the villain will be a mix of Blofelt and Oddjob.

Spent the next 16 hours explaining to a yank that, no, the new villain wasn't going to be called Oddfelt.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 1:29 pm 
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ARCHEOLOGISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A 3,000 YEAR OLD MUMMY IN A TOMB IN EGYPT COVERED IN CHOCOLATE AND SPRINKLED WITH NUTS

THEY SUSPECT IT COULD BE PHARAOH ROCHER !!

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2001 X1
2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes thread...
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 1:49 pm 
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I had an LP called “Wasp Noises”, but when I played the first track it didn’t sound like a wasp and the second track didn’t sound like a wasp either...

Then I realised I was playing the B side...

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2001 X1
2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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