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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2020 5:44 pm 
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Current ride: Buell ulysses
Location: Telford
Death with Dignity :yup:
Euthanasia is legal in three EU countries; Belgium, the Netherlands, where foreign patients are not accepted, and Luxembourg. Some other countries tacitly allow for passive euthanasia and suicide.
people in this country, have even go to the high court to ask to be allowed to help loved ones by talking terminally ill partners abroad but alas at the moment the law is the law although feelings and support are growing for dignity and quality of life in final years

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2020 6:05 pm 
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Having dealt with social services in Scotland when my mum developed dementia, I cannot speak highly enough of the way she and myself were handled. We had numerous visits, assessments and much needed home help. I was also informed of everything I could claim on her behalf. It made her last years a lot easier for me to deal with.

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 8:23 pm 
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So I look at this from August last year and realise the changes in those few short months....

My wife has deteriorated quickly and the changes are both disturbing and funny at the same time, thankfully I have my Brother Howard, who some of you will know and he is an absolute bloody god send, I am so pleased that we get on and we both help each other in every that we can and at this time that is invaluable...I also have a friend down in Sussex and her mother died of alzheimers/dementia and she has been able to understand and to tell me of the stages of the disease and has so far been correct all along, she knows me and that makes a huge difference.

Zombie without the flesh eating is where we are now most days...She was really bad in Portugal this Christmas/New Year and it was all I could do to remain stable and understanding and this puts pressure on with the whole relocating thing, the pandemic means fuck all to be honest, it is a walk in the park....But I feel more able to cope in Portugal as it is a more understanding and caring place to be, the people are just tops.

She is deteriorating quickly though in my eyes and knows not when she has taken a shower, or brushed her teeth or washed her hair....Thankfully she is on overdrive at the moment and does it everyday, but in Portugal she had to be reminded to brush her teeth or have a wash....There is so much more, but I don`t want to break confidentiality...It is very important to me.

So I am stuck in the UK, not totally understanding the changes regarding travel and have just got a quote to get water into my house in Portugal and have to be there to make sure it is all going right...I am a Portuguese resident, as is my wife, but unsure of how to get back...I will make some calls this week and next so that I can get through all this shit and get to a place where the sun shines, bollocks to this place, cold and damp can fuck off...I am a Lizard!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 8:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 6:43 pm
Posts: 2820
Current ride: S1`s
Location: Llanelli South Wales
The very best of luck to you both. :yup:

Hope you can get to the :sun:


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 10:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 8:00 pm
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Location: southampton
seriously Dave , you are lucky to have a good brother in Howard
most of us can only offer you words , strength to you , but you have always had that in bucket loads
never surrender


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 1:35 am 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 12:06 am
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Current ride: S1W,S2T,1125CR
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Hang in there, dude. Doesn't sound like a good place to be but sounds like you're being a lot more caring than any of us would ever have expected you to be even though we knew there was a decent bloke under the public alter ego ;)

Any time you need a rant you know where to come. Good luck with sorting your place in the sun, I'm sure it will be good for you both.

Keep your family safe, mate :4roz:

Steve

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 9:05 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:10 pm
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Current ride: Buell ulysses
Location: Telford
Managed to lay my mom to rest just before first lockdown died of alzheimers/dementia.

There were good days and bad in the last years of her life , some days she would recognise you and call you by name , and you could have a sensible conversation others she couldn’t remember your name or called you by your brother or uncles name , just go with the flow ,only confuses them more if you try to correct them , and then they start asking the same question every 5 or ten minutes , kinda stuck in a loop , unable to compute why am I here when can I go home .
With my mom it was meals and meds she would forget to take .
You almost have to treat them as being autistic , they need routine , simple routine , a change of routine or environment ( care home , hospital ) gets them all confused for a few weeks / months until they settle.
Try to remember the good times, get some old pictures out and talk about the good old days and they are back there as if it was yesterday.
Try to stay strong , hard at times I know,
Portugal sound to be a nice place in the sun, rather than this damp, Cold place we call home .
All the best just take one day at a time .

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:13 am 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
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Location: Cofa's tree
And to think that there are some out there that think they are being hard done to because they're asked to wear a mask :roll:
I would say "I hope things get better" but sadly with dementia/Alzheimers that is never the case
I am lucky that I have never had to experience it in my family but I used to drive service users to day care centres and return them home, it was heart breaking to see loved ones being abused, spat at and sworn to because they didn't recognise them.....and the family would just "come on sweetie, your home now"....every one of them still full of love
I really hope you can get this Portugal issue sorted Att :yup:

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 12:19 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:58 pm
Posts: 1492
Current ride: Buell 1125R
Hi Att,
Really sorry to hear about your wife, it's a heart rending situation to be sure.
Lots of people on here have gone through similar so lots of advice & support which was my experience of the people on here.
I became quite an expert at getting Social Services to pay attention to my father in laws needs despite them trying to pull the guilt trips of "human rights & personal liberty" agenda on me.
They are not living with it & don't care about you or your wife, only about keeping costs down that are directly associated with them.
Safety is a key issue, make sure they are taking notes of every concern you have (and make sure you tell them every concern), if it isn't written down it does not get represented in any meetings they have. They will also withdraw at ANY GIVEN opportunity, you will have to work at keeping them involved & do not let them get out of their responsibilities.
If your wife is on medication, you also have Mental Heath Services to manipulate. I say manipulate deliberately because this is what you will have to do. Again Safety is key, if there are concerns with safety they cannot withdraw, but make sure it's all noted.
Not sure if any of that helps, but I had four years with my father in law slowly deteriorating & learned a lot during that time.
Feel free to PM me any time.
All the best Att & take care. Paul.

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 1:54 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:55 pm
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Current ride: K100
Location: Perth WA, occasionally Quorn, UK
Jazzbutcher wrote:
All the best Att & take care


:yt:

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2021 2:25 pm 
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Many thanks for the kind words, I do appreciate it and it illuminates the future a little more.

I spent yesterday trying to decipher the travel restrictions, as the municipality in Portugal have been in contact about supplying mains water to the house and I need to get this done pronto so that we can have a better standard of living :D

So I am allowed entry to Portugal because I am a resident returning to their main home and have the permits with me, although the border is closed between Spain and Portugal there are a few primary routes that remain open with operating hours lOl

The French entry surprisingly(not) was harder to ascertain as they have advice for UK persons but they have not bothered to translate it to English and the certificate you have to fill in is also in French, the fucking miserable bastards :x So I spent time yesterday on google translate and it seems if you are a UK national and have residency status in France or any other EU country, then you can enter France, however they discourage it.

So I need to get a health cert for the dog and the cat, PCR tests for us and then we can get to the channel tunnel, so the timing is paramount in all of this, otherwise a few hundred quids will be lost on tests alone! They have made it so difficult and expensive to go anywhere at this moment, but I believe this is the future now for the foreseeable....Which kind messes up all the journies I had planned for this year moving all my gear in a a van, as it is safer and easier to bring Wendy and that means the animals too, this is now prohibitively expensive, so I will be having plenty of e bay action and bonfires lOl

Trying to move not just house, but country in a global pandemic with Brexit thrown in for good measure is not impossible, but by fuck it is testing and if I come out the other side I shall grow more weed than is good for me :sun: :sun:


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2021 7:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 8:00 pm
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Current ride: X1 2001
Location: southampton
If it was easy...
burecratic bastards all of them , form filling like some third world dictatorship :headbang:
keep fighting it all Att :yup:


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2021 6:36 am 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:55 pm
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Location: Perth WA, occasionally Quorn, UK
Nutah wrote:
form filling like some third world dictatorship :headbang:


That's actually easier. Depending on the specific country you just need either a local go between, a relative of someone in the agency (easy cos they're all related), or some cash :)

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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2021 9:47 pm 
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Wishing you strength and guidance along the way Att. :sun:


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 Post subject: Re: I have decided....
PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:57 pm 
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Hopefully this works out well in the end for you Att. Fingers crossed you may be able to attend Deliverance in August if it goes ahead. Take care and best wishes xx

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