Thanks to Mick, this is still a classic even though a few have dropped by the wayside. A peaceful Christmas Buelligans, and keep hope in your hearts for 2021
By Mojomick
T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the hills,
Buellers were spannering, or gulping down Pils.
Tigs had her stockings on, stood by the fire,
Rick was quite rampant, so full of desire.
The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,
But Maz was still working, porting Thunderstorm heads.
Deepsix Tony was down in the Blue,
While Ursus was planning his next "Kathmandu".
When outside the house, there arose such a clatter,
It was Willybuells' discs, beginning to shatter!
Away from the window, I flew like a flash,
In time to catch Adam, hiding his stash.
Sarah had dressed up, hoping Mark would go mad,
But he'd just bought another 'Busa to prove that he had.
Ash got a Tat done, with the name of his daughter,
While Leigh sat quite still, hoping not to break water.
Kevmean and "Nieces" were having some fun,
While Chris in Madrid was cleaning his gun.
Roz had her tits out, 'coz it's that time of year,
While Jon got quite drunk and came over all queer.
Crip in the basement, was strumming his Strat,
Spen was on Ebay, selling some tat.
Nate was out hunting, to shoot Christmas fayre,
Att was still trucking, "Coz I don't fucking care".
Digger and Katherine were snuggled up together,
Mrs Peel had her whip out, brandishing leather.
Blackrag was inked up, outlining a Dragon,
Banjo was shitfaced, having drunk a whole flagon.
Nutah was freezing, still fixing his bike,
Rich was at altitude, taking a hike.
Toyboy was drinking his favourite dark rum,
Bonzo was admiring a fresh latex bum.
Greasemonkey and his Disco was reaping good riches,
Pulling stranded muppets out of the ditches.
DFS down south was watching the stars,
Beef ogled women, dressed only in bras.
Pash in his lab was messing with fuelling,
Onanist and Daywalker were dreaming of Buelling.
Gunter was on the other end of the line,
Checking his figures and sipping Gluhwein.
Mirman was pointing his lens at the crowd,
JBR asked the cop,"Are you sure that's too loud?"
Smarty was home, cleaning his Bullet,
Richie was in the bathroom, "choking" his pullet.
Dusty out west was donning his wellies,
His sheep knew nothing of Crimewatch or tellies.
Lucky was looking to scam Auntie Carole,
While Norm tapped into another fresh barrel.
CJ and Jane were planning fresh quests,
Dreaming of Norway and warm thermal vests.
Norrie was loved up and dreaming of spring,
When he could afford a nice Wedding Ring.
Frankie, our friend from over the water,
Had selected a bottle of Bushmills to slaughter.
Mitch down in Devon was ready to go,
Out into Plymouth to find a new Hoe.
GB and Mo were dreaming of Spring,
And a promise of a trip to the Nurburgring.
Albert was tig welding yet more spaghetti,
He used to weld Zorsts for Mario Andretti.
Alison and Steve were heading Stateside,
To buy some more bling for the bikes that they ride.
Goldy and Max have lived through disaster,
His arse is still sore, but his arm's out of plaster.
Now that I'm pissed, having drunk lots of beers,
D'ya think I should tell Jill she has four more gears?
Take care my Buelling friends, wherever you are,
And remember, if it's icy out, take the fucking car!
Merry Christmas to all at UKBEG.
Mick.
_________________
I started out with nothing and still got most of it left.