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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:41 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:10 pm
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Current ride: 99 Cyclone M2
Location: Liverpool
In my teenage years I dated a twin for some time, a mate once asked me how I told them apart, it wasn't too difficult Susan used to paint her nails a deep red colour and Dave had a cock

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Last year I joined a group for anti-social people
We haven't met yet.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:42 am 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 5354
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Why do they slap babies at birth?
To knock the cock off the stupid ones!

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 10:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:34 pm
Posts: 692
Current ride: m2 cyclone
Location: leicester
Little patrick was on a street in dublin crying, mrs maloney sees him and asks ' what is the matter?' .little patrick replies ' me ma has died' .... mrs maloney said oh dear ! ....would you like me to fetch father ryan? '......No said patrick ...' i cant think about sex at a time like this'


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:39 pm 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Breaking News — Invictus Games: Canada’s basketball team have been disqualified after testing positive for WD40.

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 7:01 am 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 4:03 pm
Posts: 4528
Current ride: S1w X1 1125CR
Location: NNW of Sarfampton
Early to mid 1980s on a train and a punk is eating prawns and flicking the shells at a nun sat opposite.

Once he's finished the packet and thrown it out of the window, the nun (who has said not a word all this time) calmly stands up and pulls the Emergency Cord.

The punk thinks this is hilarious and says "Ha-ha!!! You'll get a £20 fine for that!"

The nun smiles sweetly and says "Maybe - but you'll get 20 years when they smell your fingers!"

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I'm a Hornithologist, I get excited by exotic birds.........


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 10:18 am 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
I've just opened the first window on my Dianne Abbott advent calendar.

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 12:58 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:25 pm
Posts: 12174
Location: Oswestry
Finmows wrote:
I've just opened the first window on my Dianne Abbott advent calendar.


lOl lOl lOl

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If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 7:54 pm
Posts: 2693
Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
This guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She’s beautiful, isn’t she?"

I said, "If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!"

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she’s an optician!"

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:53 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 7:54 pm
Posts: 2693
Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
I was arguing with my wife in the pub last night when the landlord came over and said, "I think you've had enough mate I suggest you leave."

"You're right mate." I said. "I'll have a few more pints then go home and start packing!"

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 7:54 pm
Posts: 2693
Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
I was walking past the church on Sunday morning when the vicar shouted at me, "Love your neighbour."

I shouted back, "Me too, cracking pair of tits!"

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 3:10 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 7:54 pm
Posts: 2693
Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween.

I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors.

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 3:11 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 7:54 pm
Posts: 2693
Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
I was at a funeral yesterday when I asked the priest for the WiFi code.

He shouted, "Have some respect for the dead."

I asked, "Is that all in lower case?"

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 3:17 pm 
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Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
Apparently Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac once turned down a marriage proposal from William Shatner.

She didnt want to be known as Stevie Shatner-Nicks.

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 3:19 pm 
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Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
I've learnt a life lesson yesterday. Next time I walk into the house and see my wife crying, I'm not going to ask, "Is it because of your new haircut?"

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 3:36 pm 
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Current ride: 1999 X1
Location: Texas, Gerrards Cross
According to Psychology Today magazine, women spend 12,000 hours of their lives crying.
Whereas blokes spend exactly the same amount of time not knowing what the fuck they've done wrong.

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Bob Krzeszkiewicz
2011 Kawasaki Z1000SX - 1999 Buell X1


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