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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 9:04 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:11 am
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Current ride: XB12X
Location: South of the River
conquistador wrote:
A banker, a worker and an immigrant are sitting at a table with 20 cookies. The banker takes 19 cookies and says to the worker: "Be careful, the immigrant is going to take your cookie."

That's not a joke - that's the sub text to some national newspapers reporting of almost everything except football.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 10:41 am 
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Current ride: S1w X1 1125CR
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As people get ready for the Distinguish Gentleman's Ride getting their beards and tashes right,

It's Jamaican Hairstyle Day at the office next week, and I'm already dreading it. :coat:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:20 pm 
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GX07 wrote:
conquistador wrote:
A banker, a worker and an immigrant are sitting at a table with 20 cookies. The banker takes 19 cookies and says to the worker: "Be careful, the immigrant is going to take your cookie."

That's not a joke - that's the sub text to some national newspapers reporting of almost everything except football.

The irony hadn't escaped me!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:41 am 
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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline

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I'm a Hornithologist, I get excited by exotic birds.........


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:59 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 9:27 pm
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Current ride: XB12s,S1WL, Triumph
Location: Glossop in't th'hills
:hehe:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:10 am 
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Finmows wrote:
Taylor Swift has 500 songs about blokes leaving her and 0 songs about blowjobs.... See where I'm going with this?

:rotfl:
Just catching up

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 4:53 pm 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
I can hear the lesbian couple next door to me having sex every night. It's not easy, but if I turn the TV off and unplug the fridge, I can just about hear them.

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:00 pm 
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Current ride: X1 2001 White Riot
Location: southampton
:rotfl: :rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:34 am 
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Last week a man convinced me to join the R.A.C. so I handed over £55. Must be a con, I still haven't received my uniform yet.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:58 am 
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:hehe: :hehe:

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Obey the principles without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 8:41 pm 
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I went to a "posh" restaurant last night .... I don't know how the fuck they had the audacity to call themselves "posh"... For a start, the scallops were served in fucking ashtrays.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:53 pm 
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Current ride: m2 cyclone
Location: leicester
Elton john went to a tattooist and asked for a rolls royce tattoo on his cock ....the tattooist replied ...you would be better off with a landrover, it wont get stuck in the shit


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:35 am 
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I was at the Ideal Home Exhibition when one of the exhibitors asked me if I wanted to see a model home. I said "Sure, no problem, what time does she finish."

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:12 am 
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Current ride: X1 2001 White Riot
Location: southampton
:rotfl: :rotfl:

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Obey the principles without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:11 am 
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So we're in bed and she says" Would you like a bit of anal"!
"OH YES PLEASE" I reply
"We'll first of all, you leave the top off the toothpaste......."

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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