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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 7:19 pm 
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I know it's early, but a very happy new year from The Premature Ejaculation Society.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 11:00 pm 
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My wife can still bend over and touch her toes...




Pity that it's with her tits.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 9:48 pm 
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My mate said "I could do that Tess Daly"!
I said "I'd rather do Kiera Knightley" ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 9:27 pm
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Current ride: XB12s,S1WL, Triumph
Location: Glossop in't th'hills
:D


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:50 pm 
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Current ride: XB12s,S1WL, Triumph
Location: Glossop in't th'hills
Oops wrong section. Should have been in pics that make you laugh


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:25 pm 
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Current ride: S1w X1 1125CR
Location: NNW of Sarfampton
A pregnant woman is hit by a car and to save her life she is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?!"

The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital."

She says,"My brother? That guy is a moron! Why would you do that?"

"I am sorry ma'am, we had no choice. There was nobody else. He even took the liberty of naming them."
"What?", she says. "What did he name my daughter?"

"He named her 'Denise' " says the doctor.

"Oh, well that's not so bad. What did he name my son?"

To which the doctor replies, "He named him 'Denephew' "

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I'm a Hornithologist, I get excited by exotic birds.........


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:16 pm 
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So the Irish weather people Christened the current wind ‘Storm Brendan’ !? :roll: Whatever next? Storm Brother Boniface? I know that storms are usually named to suggest a vivacious or cantankerous woman, but surely we are missing something here?

Should be called ‘Storm Stormsey’? :hehe:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 5:18 pm 
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How weird can you get: People in my office have started naming the food in the company fridge... Today I ate a tuna sandwich named Kevin

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:13 pm 
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Current ride: X1 2001 White Riot
Location: southampton
:rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:41 pm 
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Do Amish murderers get the acoustic chair?

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 12:53 pm 
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I've been a member of Total Fitness for a good 10 years now but don't seem to be making any progress, so tomorrow i'm going in person to see what the fuck is going on

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2020 5:55 pm 
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My wife left me because I like Pina Colada!.... Well, that and I got caught in Lorraine.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:28 am 
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People say that I'm a bad person.... but I reckon they're just jealous coz they can't kick pigeons as far as I can!.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 10:43 pm 
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Why do pigeons fly upside down in Liverpool?

Because there's nothing worth shitting on. :twisted:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 10:46 pm 
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Wetherspoons are planning a two-drink limit for customers who have children with them....

If only I'd stuck to two drinks in the first place, the little fuckers wouldn't be here at all.

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