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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 12:24 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:25 pm
Posts: 12320
Location: Oswestry
:rotfl:

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If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 2:00 am 
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Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 1:13 pm
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:rotfl: ...and my partner thought! :rotfl:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 6:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 4:03 pm
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Current ride: S1w X1 1125CR
Location: NNW of Sarfampton
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:





Always keep your condoms in your car...

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I'm a Hornithologist, I get excited by exotic birds.........


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:58 pm
Posts: 1491
Current ride: Buell 1125R
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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Ride Safe & Stay between the hedgerows.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 7:41 pm
Posts: 20
Current ride: xb12xt
Location: north lincs.
Picture A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2020 11:34 am 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 1:43 pm
Posts: 6077
Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
"Seamus?"
"Yes, Paddy?"
"You know how everyone's saying the price of fuel's gone down?"
"Yes, Paddy."
"And you know I normally put €40 in my tank."
"Yes, Paddy."
"Well, I've just put €40 in my tank and it wasn't any cheaper."

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2020 11:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 2:02 pm
Posts: 857
Today I looked out of the window, down my street and the sight that greeted my eyes made me feel proud to be British.

The bin men were collecting on a bank holiday.

Fucking legends! 🇬🇧

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2001 X1
2001 M2
2004 S4R
Wilier La Triestina
Scott CR1


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2020 11:36 am 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
A father and his very young daughter are walking along in the city when suddenly they start hearing cheering and music. The little girl pipes up, "Oh, I heard about this in school Daddy, it's the Gay Ride Parade". The dad laughs and says, "Gay PRIDE parade honey". As they see all the floats and fireworks, the little girl starts up again. She points to a man draped in an LGBTQ flag. "Daddy look, the Rainbow fag". The father bursts out out laughing and corrects her once more. "It's Rainbow FLAG, sweetheart." The little girl looks at him and smiles sweetly before saying, "No wonder Mummy's fucking your brother you queer-loving cünt."

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2020 6:40 pm 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
Diane Abbot maintains its critical to maintain 2 Peters apart during this self insulation to halt this academic.

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2020 7:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:35 pm
Posts: 2012
Current ride: A black one
Location: Wales. The land of dragons, welshcakes and full reservoirs.
:old:

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Dusty 001


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 11:15 am 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
So glad the golf courses are opening again. I can take my dog for a proper shit now

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 11:16 am 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
The Mediterranean migrant season is now gathering pace. Sinking refugees are asked to maintain a distance of one fathom.

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 11:19 am 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
The wife phoned and said, "I've bashed your car parking at Tesco, you'll need to come and sort out the mess."
I asked, "What did you crash into?"
She replied, "The fruit and veg counter."

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 4:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:35 pm
Posts: 2012
Current ride: A black one
Location: Wales. The land of dragons, welshcakes and full reservoirs.
:rotfl:

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Dusty 001


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes Page
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 9:10 pm 
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Current ride: The wife
Location: Cofa's tree
I don't play the Thai Lottery but I never miss the live draw. Seriously though, how does she fit them all in there?

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I hate being strapped for cash....but it pays the bills


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